5 Areas To Sharpen Your Emotional Intelligence

Five Areas To Sharpen Your Emotional Intelligence

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” (Viktor Frankl) Your response depends on your emotional intelligence (EI). EI (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage one’s own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. There are five areas that you should pay attention to sharpen your EI

  1. Self-Awareness is defined by the American Psychological Association as “self-focused attention or knowledge” for the purpose of bringing one’s life into alignment with what one wishes it to be. One’s self-awareness can be subjective in that one’s perception and behaviour are based on one’s observations and experiences. One’s self-awareness can also be objective when one compares oneself to others and some standard of correct behavior. These comparisons in behaviors, attitudes, and traits all contribute to our sense of self-awareness.
  2. Self-Regulation involves controlling one’s behavior, emotions, and thoughts to manage disruptive emotions and impulses. Self-regulation is also important in that it allows one to act in accordance with one’s deeply held values or social conscience and to express oneself appropriately.
  3. Motivation is what causes one to act. For example, what causes one to want to have a drink of water. Motivation causes one to act to achieve a goal. As such motivation is a process that initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviors. Motivation can be triggered from outside of the individual and often involve incentives or disincentives. Motivation can also from within the individual where the individual achieves personal gratification when doing a particular task. The motivation process involves activation, which is initiating a behavior, followed by persistence, which is a continued effort toward a goal even in the face of challenges and intensity which is the vigor, effort, and passion that goes into pursuing a goal.
  4. Empathy is one’s ability to recognize how people feel. Discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others enables one to anticipate, recognize, and meeting others’ needs, sense their need for help towards achieving their goals, or to cultivate opportunities. Empathy is important for cultivating social skills.
  5. Social skills are used to communicate with others daily both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language, and one’s personal appearance. “Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” (Paul J Meyer) Social skills involve dialogues, where the ability to listen and empathize is as important as the ability to speak. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

Assess your emotional intelligence. Go to  https://www.appraisal360.co.uk/products/360-degree-feedback-instant360/emotional-intelligence-at-work/. Do your assessment and we will be glad to interpret the results for you. Reach out to us at [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you!

About the Author


I am currently director and principal trainer in ITOL Asia. My mission is to promote training and occupational learning. I believe that training can be deployed more effectively as an organizational transformational tool. I also believe that through occupational learning everyone is a trainer because everyone has unique experiences, knowledge and skills that enable them to train others differently.

I hold a BA, MBA and doctorate in transformational leadership. I am trained in positive psychology and qualified in ACTA. My approach to training is to equip learners use transformational tools to enable them to make their training more holistic. I employ a variety of tools in the training to fit the needs of the learners. These tools include, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Gallup Strength Finder and Business Profiling, VIA Character Strength, LEGO Serious Play, The Organizational Zoo, Action Learning, DISC and Points of You.